Decisions, decisions!

It's been a tough weekend, I've thought long and hard about my decision to return to work or not. I've weighed up all the pros and cons, I've been to Gretna to secure christmas work, but left feeling less than excited at the prospect of working less than 16 hrs for people who probably don't give a monkeys about you and will drop you in less than two to three months if that.

I suppose if I've to admit anything, that apart from the gripes on communication and the lack of wages and some of the children I work with, I do still like the job. Well maybe its the adult conversation, the listening to people talking about what they do at home, out with friends, the general banter. But there are times when I think jeez I could be getting on with so many things at home right now. But would I?

Would I want to be racing home and spring clean the entire house from top to bottom every day, well seriously clear the top soil from the kids room, fire blast the toilet and gut out the garden??? No!!!

What I suppose I do mean, is that I'd much rather be writing up my sci-fi novel and complete book 2 which is fast running out of ideas yet again. The original book 2 met the misfortune of being deleted from the Memory Stick, by the memory stick as it appears to be faulty. The entire 234 pages of story that was just rounding off the last chapter before putting it to bed. I cried and mourned for that story as there were so many funny pieces of conversation and so many action pieces. You'd think someone had died, but in a way creativity had died, my ideas were destroyed. Now of course I've attacked the book from a different angle and it reads a lot better, but I'm still stuck, well not stuck but there are two action scenes coming up. The final chapter sees the hero suffering another loss in his life, but I'm worried that this will turn into a crime story with a vengeance rather than a sci-fi story of which its meant to. There is a human element in this story, there always was, but it's like Harry Potter, JK was always bumping off one character in each story, so I suppose my hero has to lose so that his strength builds towards the finale in book 8 or 12. I'm working towards the apocalyptic war, and as most wars go, they are pretty violent and action packed and bloody good fighting scenes. And I'm champing at the bit because I so want to move onto the last book of the series, but I know I can't until I'm certain I have a market for the first book.

But I need to save and so therefore, putting aside my gripes and seeing how far we have till Christmas, and I'm supposed to be paid more than the NMW, perhaps I should just stick with it until something better comes along. It's just the Academy, there's a total lack of support and I feel that if something isn't done soon about it, more people will leave. Fighting for the single status pay isn't top of my agenda, I personally don't think they'll get it. The council don't even care about the roads, what chance have we at getting better pay???

So that's my diary entry for Sunday 28th September. At least this is one diary I can safely do without the risk of trees being chopped down. Back to work tomorrow and fingers crossed it'll be a better day, I certainly hope so.