Smiling again.

I've discovered that sitting in front of the computer for too many hours every day is having a detrimental effect upon my home life. As much as I love writing and I can type for eight hours a day, sometime without a break apart from the usual trip to the bathroom, I am becoming disillusioned with life in general. To put it more simply, I was getting depressed. Everything was getting too much and work at school was draining me.

I had to do something about it, so I allocated myself a few hours a day on the computer but only after I'd completed a certain amount of housework. Now as much as I like working with my hands, housework is not one of those jobs I enjoy doing. But I achieved the ironing, sorted out the kids toys into a new unit I bought in the town. I aim to do more tomorrow after work and if it wasn't so darn cold outside I'd achieve the back garden.

Mind you the fact I hadnt been paid for two weeks was pushing me close to the edge. So I faced that difficult decision, do I quit the job that gave me the holidays off with the kids in favour of a job that didnt? Did I give my boss my ultimatum that I no longer wanted to work with the child I was meant to be supporting? I toyed with the idea and the whole situation. I went to Gretna and posted my CV into every shop that looked busy and not too posh for someone like me to work in and returned home with a bag of toffee from Thorntons. I had a sugar fix for 2 days, thankfully that has calmed down now. But obviously my body needed it, I'm saying it needed it, but I don't think my dentist would approve.

I decided to return to work on Monday and play it by ear, if things didnt work out, I would tell my boss I was no longer happy and wait for her to decide what to do next. I had this time discussed it with my husband, figuring another adult to balance out my thoughts would be a good idea, he told me exactly what my boss would say, it ended in Off.

Needless to say, on my return to work, I was met by another member of staff giving me the good news I would be needed in college every thursday, an excursion, a chance to get out of the Academy. It does mean however I have to leave the house earlier on those days but I get a full morning at the college and get my study done. Or read a book. Or wander around the enormous building and try and get lost.

So I look forward to my Thursdays where I travel in the back of a taxi, sucking hard on mints to avoid the travel sickness that normally travels along with me. It's my own fault, I agreed to sit in the back, I stupidly eat cereal for breakfast, all that milk sloshing about in my belly as the taxi takes the corners, avoids the tractors that race along the country lanes without any thought to any other road user until it reaches the bend and has to take evasive action. I take the necessary evasive action and shove another mint in my mouth which quells the desire to be sick!