Finally coming together

You can tell when I write at night, I choose the colour blue, easier on the eyes.

I've just re-read my activity work in the OU course I'm doing and I'm pleased with myself. There is now so much more detail in the piece, that I'm spending more time describing the scene, the details in the scene and the emotions of the two characters, wow.
I'll put up this activity for you to see and then leave any feedback and tell me what you think. I'm pleased with myself because it now means that anything is possible and I will be getting my book published next year, although probably not in March because I'm going to write it from the beginning, before Miguel, before the Professor and before the clone soldiers (everybody writes about clone soldiers, why would I be any different? Because my clone soldiers ARE different - to find out how, buy the book when it comes out).

In Activity 2.9 we had to write about a character, their desire for something and make their desire a driving force. We or I had to write about a scene or summary - I did scene that creates reasons why he can never have what he wants.
Ok, I may have perhaps not got the idea exactly right, but see what you think. I'm actually pleased with the content, especially as the character has a small part in my story.

Synopsis

Joe Barker desires something that is out of his reach such as his family. Donna will never return to him, she hated the nights without him and always dreaded that knock on the door.

Donna would never return, never in a month of Sundays. She'd threatened to leave so many times before, but I never for one minute thought she would. I tried, I really did, to be home in time for Alicia's birthday, to be there when she tried out for the school hockey team, but work always took precedence. I couldn't just let the criminal get away, I couldn't leave Miguel to fight the clones on his own. He's the best cop I've got, I can't afford to lose him. I know I've got to stop with the job, one of these days it'll kill me, I'm damn sure of that. I'll be at the next game......

'I can't do this anymore, Joe, you promised.' Donna spoke with such conviction, he knew she'd follow it through this time.
'I'm sorry, I swear I tried, you know what it's like hun?' He pleaded with her, lifting her clothes back out of the suitcase in an attempt to slow her down. She slammed the case lid down on his hands and he removed them painfully.
'Once or twice Joe I could accept you'd be late home, but you promised, but when it came down to it, you couldn't could you, not even for your own daughter.' He turned to face the open doorway and saw his daughter standing dejectedly with her small luggage case already packed and tearstains streaked down her cheeks. He wore a pained expression on his face, not from the sore hands, but for the fact he was losing what he claimed he loved more than anything else.
'Just one more chance Donna, I'll prove to you I can change.' He said taking her hand as she reached for her jacket lying on the bed. She looked into his eyes and saw genuine feelings for her. He was a loving Dad, she knew that, but only when he was home and the case he was on didn't take up all of his time. He was a loving husband when he was home and not concentrating on his work. At the beginning he was all of these things and the job didn't come first or second, but third and fourth and fifth.
As she considered staying for one last time, a chance to try again on his part, the telephone rang and she could tell he was itching to answer it.
'Forget the phone, it'll stop. Stay, please.' He begged her again but she could see the edginess in his manner, he wanted to answer that phone, like a child wants to eat chocolate, like a dog wants to steal your dinner.
'Answer the phone, Joe.' She sighed.
As he spoke to the voice on the telephone, she collected her coat from the bed and pulled it on. Joe tried to convince the caller he couldn't come right now, but the caller wouldn't take no for an answer. He stood holding the phone under his chin by his shoulder and turned to his wife and child edging towards the door. He placed his hand over the receiver but she was already walking out of the door.
'I'll call you back.' He spoke into the phone and hung it up on the hook haphazardly. He ran out into the overgrown garden with the green metal fence to keep out the wildlife. He tripped over Alicia's rusty scooter but caught himself from falling flat on his face in the gravel. She was already buckling her seatbelt when he reached her. Alicia was sitting in the booster seat in the back seat, her teddy in her arms, wet from tears she had sobbed into it.
'Donna please, please stay.' He grabbed hold of the door and tried to open it but the engine was running and her eyes were full of tears.
'I can't, not anymore. It's over.' She drove out of the road, the tears running down her face.
'Donna! Alicia!' He called out to them, his heart breaking and the tears streaking his face but by now the car was at the end of the road and turning onto the highway. As the dust settled, the car was gone, intermingling with other drivers until it was just another blue estate car in a row of other cars heading back to the city, back to where they came from before Alicia was born.