Friday 14th November 2008 will be a day I'm not likely to forget for a long time. I will need to invest in a good warm hat as my head will be pretty cold I can tell you. I contacted Colin James Salon in the town and its booked for 1pm on the 14th, I've notified the local paper and there will be a reporter and a photographer there and I'm hoping to raise a significant amount of money. I managed to get quite a few people to sponsor me at Hecklegirth Primary today, so my son will hate me likely come tomorrow. But this is something I want to do and I wouldnt normally have the guts to do it any other time.
I did feel a tad foolish this morning walking through the school playground thinking - oh my god what have I set myself up for. But I'd notified FaceBook, so I could hardly back down. My friend Pauline refused to sponsor me, but she's in mourning for David Tennant, who will shortly become the former Doctor Who. I'm a little more chipper, because I know he and Russell will get together again sometime and make us all smile on the telly again. I do hope I get to meet him face to face, both him and Russell. That would make my day, it really would.
So I now have a focus, something to keep me going despite being unable to go to college this morning. I now have something other than coursework and the start of my new story to attend to. I'm worried to use Microsoft Word because now everything reads .doc and all the stuff on my memory stick doesn't and I don't want to lose anymore work.
So tomorrow morning I go to school with the sponsor form and ask if all the staff will sponsor me and then I'll put it up in the staff room and see if anyone there will sponsor me. But I'll leave them to look at that and collect it when the form is filled in. I sure hope I get loads of people filling it in, as I'll be looking to collect on it as soon as I can.
So with a sore tongue because I bit into that when I ate toast this afternoon I will take myself off to bed in a moment, still not getting used to the time knocking back an hour so it's really not 11pm but 10pm. Doh!
Off to the Uni forum before playing a few games of FreeCell before bed time.
Thursday, 30 October 2008
Wednesday, 29 October 2008
David's leaving Doctor Who and I'm needing sponsors!
Ok, so the first shock of the evening was hearing my friend Pauline announcing that David Tennant is leaving Doctor Who after the specials next year. So will definitely need to hot foot it to Cardiff next year in order to see him before he hightails it to London forever. Boo hoo, sob!
Ok the second isn't so much of a shock but a decision for me. See for ages now I've wanted to do something really bold and different and with Children In Need coming up on 14th November well what better time. I'm going to see if I can get sponsors from people as I'm going to get my head shaved, completely, bald as a coot! Why? Because I want to and I've always wanted to do it purely out of curiosity and what better reason that this!
Ok it will be cold and the kids will all point and laugh but you know what, I don't care, this is me, if I can raise a substantial amount of money for Children in Need then why not? I'm doing it for the kids and I need sponsors. Surprising the things you think of when you're sitting on the loo, best place for inspiration I've been told!!!!!
So anyone out there up for sponsoring me, don't all speak at once!!!
Maybe I could get David to sponsor me - the possibilities are endless!!!!
On a sad note, we're not getting a kitten, its not going to happen. The dog throwing up his dinner on the landing kind of made me realise that it would be me cleaning up after the kitten when it made messes and stuff and I just don't think I properly thought it through. Maybe this is me making a statement, I usually do daft things like this, getting my hair cut really short as a statement against how I'm feeling. So doing this drastic action will be the biggest statement I've made in a long time.
Off to print off some banners etc on the Children in Need Website.
Bye for now.
Ok the second isn't so much of a shock but a decision for me. See for ages now I've wanted to do something really bold and different and with Children In Need coming up on 14th November well what better time. I'm going to see if I can get sponsors from people as I'm going to get my head shaved, completely, bald as a coot! Why? Because I want to and I've always wanted to do it purely out of curiosity and what better reason that this!
Ok it will be cold and the kids will all point and laugh but you know what, I don't care, this is me, if I can raise a substantial amount of money for Children in Need then why not? I'm doing it for the kids and I need sponsors. Surprising the things you think of when you're sitting on the loo, best place for inspiration I've been told!!!!!
So anyone out there up for sponsoring me, don't all speak at once!!!
Maybe I could get David to sponsor me - the possibilities are endless!!!!
On a sad note, we're not getting a kitten, its not going to happen. The dog throwing up his dinner on the landing kind of made me realise that it would be me cleaning up after the kitten when it made messes and stuff and I just don't think I properly thought it through. Maybe this is me making a statement, I usually do daft things like this, getting my hair cut really short as a statement against how I'm feeling. So doing this drastic action will be the biggest statement I've made in a long time.
Off to print off some banners etc on the Children in Need Website.
Bye for now.
Tuesday, 28 October 2008
What a week so far!!!
I think I'll be glad when this week is over, although having said that, I think I'll be glad when this year is over. My asthma still isn't any better, it's getting steadily worse, to the point I think I've used the inhaler four times in one day today and still no better. I ache and my chest is sore and I don't have the flu, just a permanent nasal problem now. I'm still on the iron tablets, won't go into detail what that's doing to my insides right now, but have to stay on those for 2 months and then get another blood test before Christmas. So Christmas this year will be busy, giving blood and having teeth filled, whoopee do!
My writing has taken a back seat right now, since starting the OU course I've not really sat down in front of the computer and written anything. Although since I had a hacktool keygen virus on my computer I've been less and less inclined to venture onto the computer full stop. And it cost me £70 on my credit card to fix the bloody problem, but thankfully after several hours of talking to a guy from India on the Technical team for virus removal, he remote controlled my computer desktop and removed the virus. He also added a photo of himself because up until 3am we started talking personal issues as we waited for the scan to finish. I only know he left a photo of himself because I don't recall actually adding that particular photograph to my pictures. But anyway.
I have checked, all my pics are still there.
I found out quite a bit really, especially about arranged marriages, they're not as bad as they used to be, so some things do change for the better I guess.
I'm going to be rewriting my story for publication, I think as its my first book of the series I need to cover the background of the story, why the two alien characters had to travel to Earth to protect the chosen one, why was it important to give up everything for these children in the first place. There is a lot of background to cover and I think this first book might be as thick and full of detail as Isaac Asimov's Foundation book that I have on my floor shelf. I say floor shelf, its actually the space underneath my chest of drawers where the bottom drawer broke and I removed it, giving me space to store the books I've yet to read.
Another stressful item I thought I'd share for anyone who cares - I told Mark I was getting a kitten, he went balistic. I knew he would, but thought he would go equally ballistic if I'd brought the kitten home, put it in the dog cage and not told him about it until he returned home. Now I seem to have attacked this situation at the wrong level. Maybe I should have just brought in the kitty like I did with the dog and then ignored the sarcastic and angry glares from his corner. I will go and check out the rules of tenancy at the council offices tomorrow. I might have to back down on my part, but personally I don't see how. Having a cat about the place might reduce the amount of mice we seem to have in our house. We did catch the one that entered, but if more can enter from wherever, surely we do need a cat about the house as the dog and the ferrets proved inadequate.
It won't affect my asthma, animals were never a problem, but I think perhaps the heating and his smoking have caused this and perhaps the lack of iron in my blood has not helped either. But blaming the smoking is a good card to play, we've been wanting him to quit for ages, he keeps saying he will, but he never does.
Anyway, I do still love him, but he frustrates me at times and I have to behave myself and stop writing the poems that everyone knows is about me and how I feel in my situation and relationship.
My two new year resolutions are still firm though, ok, maybe not this year, that was never likely to happen. But I will see David Tennant one day, ha, probably when I make that move down south and he buggers off back to Scotland, that would be typical of me and him. I sometimes wonder if things had been different.........
Anyway, wondering what if's is hardly helping, I have to deal with the choices I made. So need to do more study and do the tea and feed the kids and relax on the sofa knowing I have the whole sofa to myself tonight.
Maybe a kitten isn't going to help, but tell me what is?
My writing has taken a back seat right now, since starting the OU course I've not really sat down in front of the computer and written anything. Although since I had a hacktool keygen virus on my computer I've been less and less inclined to venture onto the computer full stop. And it cost me £70 on my credit card to fix the bloody problem, but thankfully after several hours of talking to a guy from India on the Technical team for virus removal, he remote controlled my computer desktop and removed the virus. He also added a photo of himself because up until 3am we started talking personal issues as we waited for the scan to finish. I only know he left a photo of himself because I don't recall actually adding that particular photograph to my pictures. But anyway.
I have checked, all my pics are still there.
I found out quite a bit really, especially about arranged marriages, they're not as bad as they used to be, so some things do change for the better I guess.
I'm going to be rewriting my story for publication, I think as its my first book of the series I need to cover the background of the story, why the two alien characters had to travel to Earth to protect the chosen one, why was it important to give up everything for these children in the first place. There is a lot of background to cover and I think this first book might be as thick and full of detail as Isaac Asimov's Foundation book that I have on my floor shelf. I say floor shelf, its actually the space underneath my chest of drawers where the bottom drawer broke and I removed it, giving me space to store the books I've yet to read.
Another stressful item I thought I'd share for anyone who cares - I told Mark I was getting a kitten, he went balistic. I knew he would, but thought he would go equally ballistic if I'd brought the kitten home, put it in the dog cage and not told him about it until he returned home. Now I seem to have attacked this situation at the wrong level. Maybe I should have just brought in the kitty like I did with the dog and then ignored the sarcastic and angry glares from his corner. I will go and check out the rules of tenancy at the council offices tomorrow. I might have to back down on my part, but personally I don't see how. Having a cat about the place might reduce the amount of mice we seem to have in our house. We did catch the one that entered, but if more can enter from wherever, surely we do need a cat about the house as the dog and the ferrets proved inadequate.
It won't affect my asthma, animals were never a problem, but I think perhaps the heating and his smoking have caused this and perhaps the lack of iron in my blood has not helped either. But blaming the smoking is a good card to play, we've been wanting him to quit for ages, he keeps saying he will, but he never does.
Anyway, I do still love him, but he frustrates me at times and I have to behave myself and stop writing the poems that everyone knows is about me and how I feel in my situation and relationship.
My two new year resolutions are still firm though, ok, maybe not this year, that was never likely to happen. But I will see David Tennant one day, ha, probably when I make that move down south and he buggers off back to Scotland, that would be typical of me and him. I sometimes wonder if things had been different.........
Anyway, wondering what if's is hardly helping, I have to deal with the choices I made. So need to do more study and do the tea and feed the kids and relax on the sofa knowing I have the whole sofa to myself tonight.
Maybe a kitten isn't going to help, but tell me what is?
Thursday, 23 October 2008
A New Beginning
I received my course notes the other day and have been working through the Activities with vigour. I have a journal, a notebook to put in ideas and notes off the course, its handy and there is so much information that I know I chose correctly. Normally we choose courses to further our education for jobs we are taking, it makes a change to chose a course for bettering our skills at writing, something we always knew we were better at than perhaps the chosen career and the SVQ we HAD to take.
I know there will be elements of the course I will not understand and I'm glad that I have a good friend who has set me on the right path to look out for things within the story. Things I never contemplated before, but know I have to do, this is after all University stuff as oppose to Technical college. I'm bettering myself for all the right reasons and I'm loving it.
I received a note from the tutor about the story/novel I've written, he asks if I would like to send in my first chapter for the others to see and give feedback on, as I mentioned I appear to commentate instead of narrate. It would be nice to hear what others think, the more people that give feedback the better I think. I can take it or leave it, but it's interesting to see what people consider my work to be. I only hope that when the course is over in January that I have learnt some valuable lessons to take onto my writing. The story has to be written, I want it to be written, it must be put out there.
I know there will be elements of the course I will not understand and I'm glad that I have a good friend who has set me on the right path to look out for things within the story. Things I never contemplated before, but know I have to do, this is after all University stuff as oppose to Technical college. I'm bettering myself for all the right reasons and I'm loving it.
I received a note from the tutor about the story/novel I've written, he asks if I would like to send in my first chapter for the others to see and give feedback on, as I mentioned I appear to commentate instead of narrate. It would be nice to hear what others think, the more people that give feedback the better I think. I can take it or leave it, but it's interesting to see what people consider my work to be. I only hope that when the course is over in January that I have learnt some valuable lessons to take onto my writing. The story has to be written, I want it to be written, it must be put out there.
Monday, 20 October 2008
The OU course nears
Start Writing Fiction
The course starts officially on 25th October 2008 or Saturday this week. I spent last night depleting a small rainforest as I printed off all the activities from Block 1 to Block 5. My theory being that if anything buggered up with the computer and I didn't want to fork out a fortune at the Library for photocopying then I might as well print off everything and write in the spaces the short pieces of work that didnt warrant being printed out. I do have some feelings you know!
So with that done, and still being unable to find the forum I needed to respond to the tutor, I went ahead and wrote in brief the answers to the questions he set as a small exercise, having just re-read the eTMA info about dummy runs. So did that today and sent off to him what works I like reading, and a brief description about me. So successfully sent that off, now I know how to do that, it should be easy enough when the first TMA goes away before the 28th November. This doesn't leave me much time in which to write the first block, nor does it leave me much time to write for the rest. However, not one to knock back a challenge I will be making a start on the work either sometime today or all of tomorrow.
I am looking forward to doing the course as having read through a few pieces yesterday while I decimated a forest, I could already see where I was going wrong, yet in the same way, see that I had followed a lot of the rules correctly in others. So I am not writing myself off, I am a good writer.
The one good piece of information that I did come across in all the printing out last night was this and I will be using this more often I think when it comes to my work.
'The only rule is what works best for you.'
I like that.
The only worry I have, not from that statement, but from the audio cd I listened to when I was printing was one author said that if you sent off your work, your 3 chapters to all the lit agents and your work wasn't ready, you hadn't spent the time looking at it, etc, then you'd blown it. That scared me.
But at the time I did consider my work ready, I was unaware that I wrote in commentary and not the narrative as I maybe thought I was. In the second book I'm already working on, I am writing in the narrative and it works really well, so I must do that for the first in order for it to become successful. However it does bother me that having sent my first novel out to all the lit. agents for sci-fi, that perhaps I've possibly burnt all my bridges or whatever the phrase is.
I know I will be getting my work published once I've raised the money by cutting out the lit. agent and going with the publisher, but even then I worry that perhaps it won't be good enough, despite all the training and work I'll be pouring over it. (sorry pouring is probably the wrong word, but I couldnt remember what the proper word was).
Anyway, back to why I'm here today. It's been a while since I came on the blog, too long away. I've been reading. Yes, me, picking up a book and losing myself for a few hours. Actually, the best times for me to read are early in the morning if I wake before the kids and have those few hours to myself, or in the waiting room of the doctor's surgery, their reading material is outdated and poor, and I think I've started a trend, I saw someone else bring in a book last week.
I've been reading About A Boy by Nick Hornby, it's full of narrative and script and its brilliant. I've been reading it aloud at night to my son and lala'd over the sweary words and the sexual bits or I've read them in my mind.
It's very funny and I'm using his skills for writing in the narrative for my story, it's giving my characters a more rounded appeal, and bringing them more to life, perhaps that was my problem, one or two of my main characters were just not lifting themselves from the pages and standing beside you. My main main character does, he's solid and I sometimes hear him talking - no it's not time for the men in white coats, but he feels so real that I could almost touch him. He's such angry young man, but he's loyal to his friends and family, he's a selfless person, he risks so much to protect everyone he cares about that he rarely has time to think of himself. I'd love to meet him face to face, instead he's just an image in my head, but I've known him nearly half my life.
Well this is me, I've got messages to get from the town, more poly pockets to sleeve my OU papers, time to sort out the house ready for tonight as I head into the town of Dumfries for the Film Festival event at the Rifft Valley Restaurant, Castle Street, Dumfries. Can't wait. Maybe my friends will be there from the Screenwriting Course, or maybe I'll meet up with a few familiar film directors. Bye for now.
The course starts officially on 25th October 2008 or Saturday this week. I spent last night depleting a small rainforest as I printed off all the activities from Block 1 to Block 5. My theory being that if anything buggered up with the computer and I didn't want to fork out a fortune at the Library for photocopying then I might as well print off everything and write in the spaces the short pieces of work that didnt warrant being printed out. I do have some feelings you know!
So with that done, and still being unable to find the forum I needed to respond to the tutor, I went ahead and wrote in brief the answers to the questions he set as a small exercise, having just re-read the eTMA info about dummy runs. So did that today and sent off to him what works I like reading, and a brief description about me. So successfully sent that off, now I know how to do that, it should be easy enough when the first TMA goes away before the 28th November. This doesn't leave me much time in which to write the first block, nor does it leave me much time to write for the rest. However, not one to knock back a challenge I will be making a start on the work either sometime today or all of tomorrow.
I am looking forward to doing the course as having read through a few pieces yesterday while I decimated a forest, I could already see where I was going wrong, yet in the same way, see that I had followed a lot of the rules correctly in others. So I am not writing myself off, I am a good writer.
The one good piece of information that I did come across in all the printing out last night was this and I will be using this more often I think when it comes to my work.
'The only rule is what works best for you.'
I like that.
The only worry I have, not from that statement, but from the audio cd I listened to when I was printing was one author said that if you sent off your work, your 3 chapters to all the lit agents and your work wasn't ready, you hadn't spent the time looking at it, etc, then you'd blown it. That scared me.
But at the time I did consider my work ready, I was unaware that I wrote in commentary and not the narrative as I maybe thought I was. In the second book I'm already working on, I am writing in the narrative and it works really well, so I must do that for the first in order for it to become successful. However it does bother me that having sent my first novel out to all the lit. agents for sci-fi, that perhaps I've possibly burnt all my bridges or whatever the phrase is.
I know I will be getting my work published once I've raised the money by cutting out the lit. agent and going with the publisher, but even then I worry that perhaps it won't be good enough, despite all the training and work I'll be pouring over it. (sorry pouring is probably the wrong word, but I couldnt remember what the proper word was).
Anyway, back to why I'm here today. It's been a while since I came on the blog, too long away. I've been reading. Yes, me, picking up a book and losing myself for a few hours. Actually, the best times for me to read are early in the morning if I wake before the kids and have those few hours to myself, or in the waiting room of the doctor's surgery, their reading material is outdated and poor, and I think I've started a trend, I saw someone else bring in a book last week.
I've been reading About A Boy by Nick Hornby, it's full of narrative and script and its brilliant. I've been reading it aloud at night to my son and lala'd over the sweary words and the sexual bits or I've read them in my mind.
It's very funny and I'm using his skills for writing in the narrative for my story, it's giving my characters a more rounded appeal, and bringing them more to life, perhaps that was my problem, one or two of my main characters were just not lifting themselves from the pages and standing beside you. My main main character does, he's solid and I sometimes hear him talking - no it's not time for the men in white coats, but he feels so real that I could almost touch him. He's such angry young man, but he's loyal to his friends and family, he's a selfless person, he risks so much to protect everyone he cares about that he rarely has time to think of himself. I'd love to meet him face to face, instead he's just an image in my head, but I've known him nearly half my life.
Well this is me, I've got messages to get from the town, more poly pockets to sleeve my OU papers, time to sort out the house ready for tonight as I head into the town of Dumfries for the Film Festival event at the Rifft Valley Restaurant, Castle Street, Dumfries. Can't wait. Maybe my friends will be there from the Screenwriting Course, or maybe I'll meet up with a few familiar film directors. Bye for now.
Monday, 13 October 2008
FEAR
Fear! I'm here! I'm going to stay
You can block me out, but I'll not go away.
I'm in your room, I'm in your mind
I live at the back where it's hard to find.
I'm on tv, I'm on the news,
I scare most people, I don't pick and choose.
I'm in the movie, it's scary, hide!
D'you want to confront me, no? Confide?
You can't control me, I always win,
From that deed you did, that terrible sin.
The bully, the victim, the terrible date
One wrong move that sealed your fate.
You run, you hide, you can't decide
It's fear, it's near, I'm right inside
Your heart beats faster, but can you last
The pace, your face, can't hide the past.
You think I like this, what I do?
To scare you witless; yes it's true.
The look in your eyes says it all
If you climb up high you will only fall.
I have no conscience, I do not care
I watch people hide, I watch them stare.
Their therapy courses to face their fears
Is only to make their therapist cheer.
As he pockets your cash at the end of the session
You should heed this valuable lesson.
I'm in your head and here I'll stay
And I won't ever go away!
But think of this as you hide in the shadows
You've not been caught to test the gallows.
I'm fear, I'm good at what I do
So tell me, just how good are you?
And when you go to bed at night
Before you turn off the bedside light.
How do you know that I'm not there
Standing by your door at the top of the stairs?
Or could it be I'm in your room
Silhouetted by the light of the moon.
A dark figure, an object of fear
Dare you look, dare I come near!
Your heart is pounding, it's loud I can hear it
D'you look out of the duvet, or do you fear it?
You perspire, you desire to turn on the light
But fear is near and it gives you a fright.
Or do I hide under the bed
Are you brave enough to poke your head
Underneath? Do you see me? BOO!
Ah ha, I've got the better of you!
Fear is good, fear is bad
Fear is the best fun I've ever had.
Seeing you run, seeing you hide
Fear is real, look inside!
Fear is knowing that bad is bad
And nightmares turn into something mad.
But fear can be good, it could save your life
Being cautious can save you from a whole heap of strife.
Fear is healthy, it keeps you alive
It helps you reach the goals that you strive
For. The aims, the hopes, your dreams and desire
Go for it now, walk through the fire.
Fear can help you reach the top
But worry about it and you will drop
To the bottom of the pile, but wait a while
And fear will get you over that stile.
If you are strong then you will win
If you can keep me deep within
You will succeed and be the best
And I will help to scare the rest.
To undermine their very self
To keep them sitting on the shelf.
To keep them down under the thumb
Not eating the cake, but catching the crumb.
For I am fear and I can scare
I can catch you unaware
I can filter into your mind
And undo what you thought was kind.
I can twist you, I can hurt you
I can do anything I want to.
But you are strong, I can feel it
So FIGHT ME, don't be a defeatist.
Let me see what you are worth
And I will help in your rebirth.
I am fear and I'm here to stay
And I will NEVER EVER GO AWAY!
D.J. Forrest
Copyright 2008
You can block me out, but I'll not go away.
I'm in your room, I'm in your mind
I live at the back where it's hard to find.
I'm on tv, I'm on the news,
I scare most people, I don't pick and choose.
I'm in the movie, it's scary, hide!
D'you want to confront me, no? Confide?
You can't control me, I always win,
From that deed you did, that terrible sin.
The bully, the victim, the terrible date
One wrong move that sealed your fate.
You run, you hide, you can't decide
It's fear, it's near, I'm right inside
Your heart beats faster, but can you last
The pace, your face, can't hide the past.
You think I like this, what I do?
To scare you witless; yes it's true.
The look in your eyes says it all
If you climb up high you will only fall.
I have no conscience, I do not care
I watch people hide, I watch them stare.
Their therapy courses to face their fears
Is only to make their therapist cheer.
As he pockets your cash at the end of the session
You should heed this valuable lesson.
I'm in your head and here I'll stay
And I won't ever go away!
But think of this as you hide in the shadows
You've not been caught to test the gallows.
I'm fear, I'm good at what I do
So tell me, just how good are you?
And when you go to bed at night
Before you turn off the bedside light.
How do you know that I'm not there
Standing by your door at the top of the stairs?
Or could it be I'm in your room
Silhouetted by the light of the moon.
A dark figure, an object of fear
Dare you look, dare I come near!
Your heart is pounding, it's loud I can hear it
D'you look out of the duvet, or do you fear it?
You perspire, you desire to turn on the light
But fear is near and it gives you a fright.
Or do I hide under the bed
Are you brave enough to poke your head
Underneath? Do you see me? BOO!
Ah ha, I've got the better of you!
Fear is good, fear is bad
Fear is the best fun I've ever had.
Seeing you run, seeing you hide
Fear is real, look inside!
Fear is knowing that bad is bad
And nightmares turn into something mad.
But fear can be good, it could save your life
Being cautious can save you from a whole heap of strife.
Fear is healthy, it keeps you alive
It helps you reach the goals that you strive
For. The aims, the hopes, your dreams and desire
Go for it now, walk through the fire.
Fear can help you reach the top
But worry about it and you will drop
To the bottom of the pile, but wait a while
And fear will get you over that stile.
If you are strong then you will win
If you can keep me deep within
You will succeed and be the best
And I will help to scare the rest.
To undermine their very self
To keep them sitting on the shelf.
To keep them down under the thumb
Not eating the cake, but catching the crumb.
For I am fear and I can scare
I can catch you unaware
I can filter into your mind
And undo what you thought was kind.
I can twist you, I can hurt you
I can do anything I want to.
But you are strong, I can feel it
So FIGHT ME, don't be a defeatist.
Let me see what you are worth
And I will help in your rebirth.
I am fear and I'm here to stay
And I will NEVER EVER GO AWAY!
D.J. Forrest
Copyright 2008
Friday, 10 October 2008
Back to the Drawing Board
Finally I receive some feedback from a Lit Agent, ok it wasn't the news I was expecting to hear but at least it was honest and I'm going to have to rewrite the story again. According to Artellus it was full of commentary which is distancing. I need to practice more on the narrative and who is telling the story. So this week of the school break I will be reading other works by other authors to get to grips with narrative practices.
I have to say that Artellus were right, having looked back over the first few pages of my story, I have been doing exactly that. I can see why they lost confidence in my writing. I couldnt read the last paragraph they wrote mainly because I couldnt read their writing, but as the first pointed out my flaws, perhaps being unable to read the second paragraph is ok.
So this weekend I'm reading as many books as I can to understand where I'm going wrong, then the second week I'll be looking at ways of improving my writing and beginning to rewrite the story as a story and not a commentary.
I think part of my problem is I don't feel that the reader is being given enough information, so I add to it, I think I have to stop adding. I think to be honest if I can be at this point in my writing, I need to let the reader discover the character without over explaining everything. I'm sure Terrance Dicks didnt over explain the Daleks but let the reader experience the idea of a metallic robot calling Exterminate in their heads.
It was a knock back, but I'm taking it on the chin I'm obviously not as ready for publication as I thought I was, but I want to make sure that this book is well polished before it goes onto the shelves. I don't want my first book to be a disaster, because nobody will want to read the next book if that is the case.
Put it this way, if JK wrote a bad first book, how confident would you be in reading the second?
So back to the drawing board, or computer screen.
I have to say that Artellus were right, having looked back over the first few pages of my story, I have been doing exactly that. I can see why they lost confidence in my writing. I couldnt read the last paragraph they wrote mainly because I couldnt read their writing, but as the first pointed out my flaws, perhaps being unable to read the second paragraph is ok.
So this weekend I'm reading as many books as I can to understand where I'm going wrong, then the second week I'll be looking at ways of improving my writing and beginning to rewrite the story as a story and not a commentary.
I think part of my problem is I don't feel that the reader is being given enough information, so I add to it, I think I have to stop adding. I think to be honest if I can be at this point in my writing, I need to let the reader discover the character without over explaining everything. I'm sure Terrance Dicks didnt over explain the Daleks but let the reader experience the idea of a metallic robot calling Exterminate in their heads.
It was a knock back, but I'm taking it on the chin I'm obviously not as ready for publication as I thought I was, but I want to make sure that this book is well polished before it goes onto the shelves. I don't want my first book to be a disaster, because nobody will want to read the next book if that is the case.
Put it this way, if JK wrote a bad first book, how confident would you be in reading the second?
So back to the drawing board, or computer screen.
Thursday, 9 October 2008
Fear
Fear is good, fear is bad, fear is the best fun I've ever had!
I have to say as an opening line in my Fear poem that I wrote a few years ago, it conjures up all kinds of images as to what sort of fun you could have with fear.
As a kid growing up I was terrified of most things and most of the things I was scared of were created by the media. I avoided horror films because the word 'horror' conjured up blood and gore and scary monsters worse than Doctor Who. But horror in itself also invited you to watch because you wanted to know what the kids in school were so hyped up about. The film most people talked about was 'The American Werewolf in London' which I have to say having watched the film, I am still spooked by certain elements, mostly mirrors I have to say.
In the film after the main character was attacked by the werewolf and his friend was having his guts ripped out in the background and his face attacked, he reappeared in stages of decay in the mirror of his friends bathroom. That in itself scared the hell out of me for most of my teenage and adult life, after that the only other two horror films were The Shining and Salem's Lot.
Salem's Lot I only watched because at that particular time my heart-throb was David Soul, so naturally I would watch anything he was in. Plot line of the story seemed to be that the character David Soul played was returning to his old stomping ground of Salem, or he was a writer. I didnt pay much attention obviously to the plot line, and spent most of the film with my hands in front of my face and peering between my fingers. If only my fingers had stretched far enough over my ears I could have blocked out all the sounds which guaranteed would be keeping me awake for the next three nights. Mostly because outside of my bedroom window happened to be a tall bush that scratched on the glass during gales. When I called my Dad to let the dog sleep in my room, the dog was going through a devil stage and leapt on the bed, pinning me completely within his legs and I couldnt move, he could have bitten my neck and I'd be vampired. He was no help at all!
The Shining was different, I watched this film as an adult in the new house in Scotland which had a long hallway, similar to that where the twin girls stood in their blue dresses. Yeah, that seriously freaked me out, in fact apart from the ucky woman in the bath, that was probably the only part of the film that scared the begees out of me.
Fear is fantastic for a writer but I have to be careful when I write about fear at night because I have been known to scare even myself.
I wrote a poem a few years ago after a child I looked after suffered bullies terribly, but as I wrote it I began to write from both sides of the scale, from the victim to the bully and then I kind of drifted towards Fear having a voice of its own, which became something stronger and then I found I couldnt finish it. This is a problem I face a lot when I write poetry, after covering five pages of verse I find I can't always wind it up, I find there is more I need to add until suddenly you feel like Shakespeare, reams and reams of words and where does it end?
As a person I do have an active or perhaps over-active imagination, I can see elements of fear in most things in life. I fear the dark, I imagine there are all kinds of creatures and non-creatures lurking in the dark doorways, behind the trash cans in alleyways. As the shadows grow tall and the darkness creeps over the city or the town, suddenly the streets become bare, the people all hide from the darkness, what are they scared of?
Me probably!
I am now a proper grown up, although perhaps not completely that grown up as I still watch Doctor Who, have posters on my walls of the 10th Doctor and models of Star Wars ships on top of my wardrobe and a 12" Dalek on my chest of drawers, hardly what you'd call a proper grown up, then!
I love sci-fi which has its own fear factor, take Aliens for example, how many of you knew that the alien was still in the ship as Ripley was setting her course for Earth? Yeah, I did leap from my seat and darn near wet myself. But the aliens are fantastic, I love them, even to the point of buying a full on head mask of a drone alien. You can see this proper grown up image is slipping further into the gutter as I continue.
Fear keeps you alive though, if you had no fear, you would have no imagination, you wouldnt be able to consider the possibilities of the worst case scenario. You couldnt make those plans, the what if this happened, what if there really was someone hiding behind that trash can, they might jump out at me, what do I have in my defence? So your mind takes over and compensates, it ensures you have somewhat of an idea how to protect yourself, it might even suggest you don't become the next victim and NOT walk into that dark alleyway, perhaps find an alternative way home, or better still, why leave it this late, why not get a bus, taxi or just hey, maybe not go out???
I will be adding my poem to this piece of nonsense I've written, it's been a while since I wrote anything. I've been busy, I'm enjoying life at the moment, but the Fear poem might make you think otherwise.
I have to say as an opening line in my Fear poem that I wrote a few years ago, it conjures up all kinds of images as to what sort of fun you could have with fear.
As a kid growing up I was terrified of most things and most of the things I was scared of were created by the media. I avoided horror films because the word 'horror' conjured up blood and gore and scary monsters worse than Doctor Who. But horror in itself also invited you to watch because you wanted to know what the kids in school were so hyped up about. The film most people talked about was 'The American Werewolf in London' which I have to say having watched the film, I am still spooked by certain elements, mostly mirrors I have to say.
In the film after the main character was attacked by the werewolf and his friend was having his guts ripped out in the background and his face attacked, he reappeared in stages of decay in the mirror of his friends bathroom. That in itself scared the hell out of me for most of my teenage and adult life, after that the only other two horror films were The Shining and Salem's Lot.
Salem's Lot I only watched because at that particular time my heart-throb was David Soul, so naturally I would watch anything he was in. Plot line of the story seemed to be that the character David Soul played was returning to his old stomping ground of Salem, or he was a writer. I didnt pay much attention obviously to the plot line, and spent most of the film with my hands in front of my face and peering between my fingers. If only my fingers had stretched far enough over my ears I could have blocked out all the sounds which guaranteed would be keeping me awake for the next three nights. Mostly because outside of my bedroom window happened to be a tall bush that scratched on the glass during gales. When I called my Dad to let the dog sleep in my room, the dog was going through a devil stage and leapt on the bed, pinning me completely within his legs and I couldnt move, he could have bitten my neck and I'd be vampired. He was no help at all!
The Shining was different, I watched this film as an adult in the new house in Scotland which had a long hallway, similar to that where the twin girls stood in their blue dresses. Yeah, that seriously freaked me out, in fact apart from the ucky woman in the bath, that was probably the only part of the film that scared the begees out of me.
Fear is fantastic for a writer but I have to be careful when I write about fear at night because I have been known to scare even myself.
I wrote a poem a few years ago after a child I looked after suffered bullies terribly, but as I wrote it I began to write from both sides of the scale, from the victim to the bully and then I kind of drifted towards Fear having a voice of its own, which became something stronger and then I found I couldnt finish it. This is a problem I face a lot when I write poetry, after covering five pages of verse I find I can't always wind it up, I find there is more I need to add until suddenly you feel like Shakespeare, reams and reams of words and where does it end?
As a person I do have an active or perhaps over-active imagination, I can see elements of fear in most things in life. I fear the dark, I imagine there are all kinds of creatures and non-creatures lurking in the dark doorways, behind the trash cans in alleyways. As the shadows grow tall and the darkness creeps over the city or the town, suddenly the streets become bare, the people all hide from the darkness, what are they scared of?
Me probably!
I am now a proper grown up, although perhaps not completely that grown up as I still watch Doctor Who, have posters on my walls of the 10th Doctor and models of Star Wars ships on top of my wardrobe and a 12" Dalek on my chest of drawers, hardly what you'd call a proper grown up, then!
I love sci-fi which has its own fear factor, take Aliens for example, how many of you knew that the alien was still in the ship as Ripley was setting her course for Earth? Yeah, I did leap from my seat and darn near wet myself. But the aliens are fantastic, I love them, even to the point of buying a full on head mask of a drone alien. You can see this proper grown up image is slipping further into the gutter as I continue.
Fear keeps you alive though, if you had no fear, you would have no imagination, you wouldnt be able to consider the possibilities of the worst case scenario. You couldnt make those plans, the what if this happened, what if there really was someone hiding behind that trash can, they might jump out at me, what do I have in my defence? So your mind takes over and compensates, it ensures you have somewhat of an idea how to protect yourself, it might even suggest you don't become the next victim and NOT walk into that dark alleyway, perhaps find an alternative way home, or better still, why leave it this late, why not get a bus, taxi or just hey, maybe not go out???
I will be adding my poem to this piece of nonsense I've written, it's been a while since I wrote anything. I've been busy, I'm enjoying life at the moment, but the Fear poem might make you think otherwise.
Saturday, 4 October 2008
This week has been ok workwise, the trip out to the college every thursday breaks up the week even further and its nice to see the smile on the face of the student who rides in the taxi with me every week.
I still don't know if I've been paid wages this week as the wage slip hasn't arrived again. I normally receive it every saturday. I know the postal service has its moments but this is 3 weeks of moments and I'm not sure I like it. Having said that, I don't personally think it is the postal system, more likely the woman in the office at the Academy who still hasn't pulled herself together and sorted my wages out.
If it wasn't for the fact that I am now going to be going to college every week I would be seriously threatening to leave on the grounds that I'd had enough working as a volunteer - because that's what you call people who don't get paid isn't it?
The weather is abysmal. It was cold last night (friday) and this morning it was gale force and wet and miserable and I had to concede and put the heating on in my room. As much as working in woolly gloves is ok, you don't get the same feel for the keys as you normally do.
I'll be writing more poetry shortly, but am collecting all my work in order to put it into a book I'm writing. But with 38 pages of poetry, I still have some way to go before I can fill that up. And I'm not overly sure I can put in the Doctor Who poems as I think that would breach several forms of copyright and plageurism - think I spelt that wrong.
My OU course starts soon and I can hardly wait. It lasts for 12 weeks which is as long as my attention span is for study, any longer and I'd be wondering why I was doing it, or was that just the pointless SVQ3 in Early Years childcare and education. I seriously wonder what possessed me to take that course. Oh yes that's right, I thought I'd get a job at the end of it. HA!
SVQ, HNC. Hmmm! I took a HNC in Business Administration, collected the certificate at the end of the course, couldnt find a job. The dole office told me it wasn't a recognised qualification. WHAT? If I'd known then that it wasn't worth bothering about I'd have continued fishing for the summer, I'd have taken the job in the new fast food restaurant and made some cash and not survived on 3 different types of porridge for breakfast dinner and tea.
When I submitted my SVQ3 to an employer I was told I didnt have enough experience in paperwork. I'd been a childminder for 3 - 4 years previous and wonder just how much of the rainforest I had to cut down in order to please everybody???
So I think I'll stick to writing, blogging and more writing. I'm still focussing on saving the cash to get the book published. A tiny part of me worries that this could be a complete fraud, but I've seen the site on the web, I've read all the bumf and I've had one of the publishers speaking to me on the phone, all sounds legit. So why do I have doubts? Maybe because of the vast sum I have to pay for my work, but then sometimes you do have to take that gamble, you do have to throw caution to the wind and take a chance. So this £700 will be me taking the biggest chance ever in getting my work published. Big deep breath and release!
I'll be fine and at least its only my money at the end of the day. If for some reason I've screwed up and made a terrible error, it's my money and only I will have to live with that.
I still don't know if I've been paid wages this week as the wage slip hasn't arrived again. I normally receive it every saturday. I know the postal service has its moments but this is 3 weeks of moments and I'm not sure I like it. Having said that, I don't personally think it is the postal system, more likely the woman in the office at the Academy who still hasn't pulled herself together and sorted my wages out.
If it wasn't for the fact that I am now going to be going to college every week I would be seriously threatening to leave on the grounds that I'd had enough working as a volunteer - because that's what you call people who don't get paid isn't it?
The weather is abysmal. It was cold last night (friday) and this morning it was gale force and wet and miserable and I had to concede and put the heating on in my room. As much as working in woolly gloves is ok, you don't get the same feel for the keys as you normally do.
I'll be writing more poetry shortly, but am collecting all my work in order to put it into a book I'm writing. But with 38 pages of poetry, I still have some way to go before I can fill that up. And I'm not overly sure I can put in the Doctor Who poems as I think that would breach several forms of copyright and plageurism - think I spelt that wrong.
My OU course starts soon and I can hardly wait. It lasts for 12 weeks which is as long as my attention span is for study, any longer and I'd be wondering why I was doing it, or was that just the pointless SVQ3 in Early Years childcare and education. I seriously wonder what possessed me to take that course. Oh yes that's right, I thought I'd get a job at the end of it. HA!
SVQ, HNC. Hmmm! I took a HNC in Business Administration, collected the certificate at the end of the course, couldnt find a job. The dole office told me it wasn't a recognised qualification. WHAT? If I'd known then that it wasn't worth bothering about I'd have continued fishing for the summer, I'd have taken the job in the new fast food restaurant and made some cash and not survived on 3 different types of porridge for breakfast dinner and tea.
When I submitted my SVQ3 to an employer I was told I didnt have enough experience in paperwork. I'd been a childminder for 3 - 4 years previous and wonder just how much of the rainforest I had to cut down in order to please everybody???
So I think I'll stick to writing, blogging and more writing. I'm still focussing on saving the cash to get the book published. A tiny part of me worries that this could be a complete fraud, but I've seen the site on the web, I've read all the bumf and I've had one of the publishers speaking to me on the phone, all sounds legit. So why do I have doubts? Maybe because of the vast sum I have to pay for my work, but then sometimes you do have to take that gamble, you do have to throw caution to the wind and take a chance. So this £700 will be me taking the biggest chance ever in getting my work published. Big deep breath and release!
I'll be fine and at least its only my money at the end of the day. If for some reason I've screwed up and made a terrible error, it's my money and only I will have to live with that.
Wednesday, 1 October 2008
Smiling again.
I've discovered that sitting in front of the computer for too many hours every day is having a detrimental effect upon my home life. As much as I love writing and I can type for eight hours a day, sometime without a break apart from the usual trip to the bathroom, I am becoming disillusioned with life in general. To put it more simply, I was getting depressed. Everything was getting too much and work at school was draining me.
I had to do something about it, so I allocated myself a few hours a day on the computer but only after I'd completed a certain amount of housework. Now as much as I like working with my hands, housework is not one of those jobs I enjoy doing. But I achieved the ironing, sorted out the kids toys into a new unit I bought in the town. I aim to do more tomorrow after work and if it wasn't so darn cold outside I'd achieve the back garden.
Mind you the fact I hadnt been paid for two weeks was pushing me close to the edge. So I faced that difficult decision, do I quit the job that gave me the holidays off with the kids in favour of a job that didnt? Did I give my boss my ultimatum that I no longer wanted to work with the child I was meant to be supporting? I toyed with the idea and the whole situation. I went to Gretna and posted my CV into every shop that looked busy and not too posh for someone like me to work in and returned home with a bag of toffee from Thorntons. I had a sugar fix for 2 days, thankfully that has calmed down now. But obviously my body needed it, I'm saying it needed it, but I don't think my dentist would approve.
I decided to return to work on Monday and play it by ear, if things didnt work out, I would tell my boss I was no longer happy and wait for her to decide what to do next. I had this time discussed it with my husband, figuring another adult to balance out my thoughts would be a good idea, he told me exactly what my boss would say, it ended in Off.
Needless to say, on my return to work, I was met by another member of staff giving me the good news I would be needed in college every thursday, an excursion, a chance to get out of the Academy. It does mean however I have to leave the house earlier on those days but I get a full morning at the college and get my study done. Or read a book. Or wander around the enormous building and try and get lost.
So I look forward to my Thursdays where I travel in the back of a taxi, sucking hard on mints to avoid the travel sickness that normally travels along with me. It's my own fault, I agreed to sit in the back, I stupidly eat cereal for breakfast, all that milk sloshing about in my belly as the taxi takes the corners, avoids the tractors that race along the country lanes without any thought to any other road user until it reaches the bend and has to take evasive action. I take the necessary evasive action and shove another mint in my mouth which quells the desire to be sick!
I had to do something about it, so I allocated myself a few hours a day on the computer but only after I'd completed a certain amount of housework. Now as much as I like working with my hands, housework is not one of those jobs I enjoy doing. But I achieved the ironing, sorted out the kids toys into a new unit I bought in the town. I aim to do more tomorrow after work and if it wasn't so darn cold outside I'd achieve the back garden.
Mind you the fact I hadnt been paid for two weeks was pushing me close to the edge. So I faced that difficult decision, do I quit the job that gave me the holidays off with the kids in favour of a job that didnt? Did I give my boss my ultimatum that I no longer wanted to work with the child I was meant to be supporting? I toyed with the idea and the whole situation. I went to Gretna and posted my CV into every shop that looked busy and not too posh for someone like me to work in and returned home with a bag of toffee from Thorntons. I had a sugar fix for 2 days, thankfully that has calmed down now. But obviously my body needed it, I'm saying it needed it, but I don't think my dentist would approve.
I decided to return to work on Monday and play it by ear, if things didnt work out, I would tell my boss I was no longer happy and wait for her to decide what to do next. I had this time discussed it with my husband, figuring another adult to balance out my thoughts would be a good idea, he told me exactly what my boss would say, it ended in Off.
Needless to say, on my return to work, I was met by another member of staff giving me the good news I would be needed in college every thursday, an excursion, a chance to get out of the Academy. It does mean however I have to leave the house earlier on those days but I get a full morning at the college and get my study done. Or read a book. Or wander around the enormous building and try and get lost.
So I look forward to my Thursdays where I travel in the back of a taxi, sucking hard on mints to avoid the travel sickness that normally travels along with me. It's my own fault, I agreed to sit in the back, I stupidly eat cereal for breakfast, all that milk sloshing about in my belly as the taxi takes the corners, avoids the tractors that race along the country lanes without any thought to any other road user until it reaches the bend and has to take evasive action. I take the necessary evasive action and shove another mint in my mouth which quells the desire to be sick!
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